A Daily Dose of Self Esteem

As a mom, I often reflect on how I am influencing and shaping my daughters’ self-worth and confidence.  Or as Melody would say, “Filling their buckets!”. Besides telling my children how awesome they are, what can I do to show them?

Here’s where my bias kicks in. Nate and I have made an effort to have family portraits in our home, on the wall. Creating photographs is the fun part. Hanging the photographs on our wall and then watching our kids’ eyes light up when they realize, “That’s me!” is the rewarding part. I want my girls to never have any doubt of their individual importance in our family. If I can help them feel strong and valuable here at home, they can carry that strength and light into the world. So for Nate and I, making sure family portraits and individual portraits are hanging in our home is kind of a big deal.

Recently, I learned science can back me up on this. Judy Weiser is a psychologist, art therapist and author who is considered to be an expert in the treatment process of Photo Therapy. She explains the importance of family portraits. “It lets children learn who they are and where they fit. They learn their genealogy and the uniqueness of their own family and its story. When a child sees a family portrait with them included in the photograph they say to themselves, ‘These people have me as part of what they are, that’s why I belong here. This is where I come from.’”

David Krauss is a licensed psychologist and co-author of the book “Photo Therapy and Mental Health”. Here’s what he has said about family portraits. “My bias is very simple. I think they (family photographs) should be on the wall. I am very conservative about self-esteem and I think placing a family photo someplace in the home where the child can see it every day without having to turn on a device or click around on a computer to find it really hits home for that child this sense of reassurance and comfort. They have a certainty about them and a protecting quality that nurtures a child. It says we love you and care about you. You’re important.”

I could not agree more. So what do you have hanging on your walls? 

You can read more about this topic in this article: How Family Portraits Boost Your Child’s Self Estee

https://phototherapy-centre.com/

The Only Thing You Will Regret After Your Wedding

The Bulletin of Las Cruces puts out a great Wedding Guide annually, and this year I was interviewed in regards to videography. If you haven’t read the article, Memories in Motion, by Bonnie Shranz, here is the link. The article was well written and I have a few quotes in there so I just want to take the opportunity to elaborate on the thoughts I shared, and give you a complete view of how the only thing you will regret after your wedding, is not having any wedding videos.

You will only remember saying “I do”

It takes months sometimes years of planning to get one day just the way you always imagined it. You have laughed, cried, sometimes even fought with your spouse over every little detail from the guest list to the bridal party, the colors, the DJ, the cake, the flowers, the place, the cost. There are ups and there are downs, but it’s behind you. The planning is done. It cost more than you wanted. Definitely more than anyone who said you could do it cheaply said. And you have learned the hard way that your DIY friends betrayed you with their farfetched ideas that it would be worth it to do one aspect yourself to save some money. It would have been worth the cost, you will say. But that’s ok. All stress aside the day finally comes. It’s going to be all about the two of us today. Then the day ends, and all you can remember is saying “I do”. The vows, made me realize how committed I am to love this person forever. The speeches were so heart felt they made me cry. And the way Grandma danced to that one song…But I can’t remember what my vows are, or what was said during that speech, and wouldn’t it be great if we could watch Grandma bust a move again. Photographs don’t capture that.

This is a significant lifetime event

I am surprised how many movies are made just to tell the story of falling in love. They all end the same, with that warm feeling, and they live happily ever after. Sometimes I wonder if people realize that the happily ever after is the meat of a relationship. Until marriage, there was never a real commitment. There was never a deep growth and acceptance of another person being there every day in your happy place that used to be a solo domain. Love on the surface, gets you to marriage. But true love as they say, is something much deeper. It takes great sacrifice of pride. It’s honor and respect in words and actions. It’s forgiveness, it’s forgetful, it’s patient. It’s keeping quiet at times so you can listen. It’s understanding someone to the point people confuse your empathy for telepathy. It’s communication beyond constraint. It’s deep like the roots of a giant redwood tree, and it takes years to cultivate. I know too many people that see this love between their parents and are looking for the right person to feel that same love with. You can’t experience that love with the roots of a sapling! This is what is around the corner. This is why you are celebrating with the largest party ever thrown in your honor. Your love has taken root and the next few decades are going to fly by so fast, but the whole time your love will grow. Happily ever after is the best part, it’s remembering how you got there that tends to fade away.    

At one point in my life I thought I knew everything, and that my parents were horrible. Then one day as I was learning more than I ever could imagine, I realized I knew nothing in comparison to all the knowledge out there. One day I realized how great my parents were. And now I try my best to be as good of parents as they were to me, to my kids. I sit and watch family videos with my girls all the time. They ask to watch them. “Can we watch the kite video”? And we will sit down and watch one after another. They love it. When a couple comes to us for a video, I am not thinking about how high tech can I go with this production, instead I am focused on telling their story to their children. What their children are going to want to see and hear is my approach to telling their story. 

Videography is expensive but priceless

It seems in every wedding budget the one negotiable option is wedding videography. I get it, it was ours too. I mean it would be nice to have wedding videos, but they are just so expensive, right? But this isn’t a Hollywood production costing millions of dollars. This is your wedding, all the blood, sweat, and tears you put into planning this day, and now you are going to leave it up to a few random cell-phonographers to hopefully get some footage where you can make out someone’s face. I have news for you, they are never close enough to get good footage. And with a cell phone you need to be right there in someone’s face, with good light, and no noise, to get the kind of video worth showing your future children. Well it’s better than nothing someone would say. Yeah I guess so, someone with real wedding videos would reply with eyes wide open. If you are getting married, the chances are that someday you will have kids. And one day in every child’s life, they want to know where they came from, how their parents came to be. Their family’s history. Now you could tell them with your memory’s best recollection, or you could show them, how young and in love you were when you got married. Eager to live happily ever after.